i give up.
i've been looking for them for so fucking long, and given what that ryan guy sent me, it just feels like it's not useful anymore.
they're gone. myla's gone. almost every one i knew is gone.
it's only a matter of time until i'm gone as well, you know?
if i could find that fucking pill, maybe, and just maybe.
i could join them.
...what the fuck am i saying. this entire situation has just gotten to my head and now i'm just as insane as i was before.
y'know what. i'm gonna hunt that fucking bitch. i've been broken so many times before, and now, i reached a point where i'm FUCKING DONE.
You know, it's uh, kinda nice going out into the forest every now and again.
You get this weird sense of connection to the Earth that, like, really makes you think that...
Despite the fact everything is, well, chaotic and pretty much apocalyptic, there is still a small sense of hope.
...Eh, who am I kidding. We're all gonna die and / or go to Hell anyways.
I mean, at least I get to stay alive for now. I'm shocked I made it this far.
If anyone listens to this, either because you found my phone on my cold, dead corpse, or because I decided to log it on the website, uh, yeah.
Enjoy the world. It's bad, but at least we're not dead yet. Love you.
been talking with myself for a while
it's either that, or same spotify playlist over and over.
i think my mind is deteriorating. i can feel everything and nothing at the same time.
the main thing i want right now though is just an answer.
i just need to socialize a bit, i don't know.
right now though, trying to find any indication of where myla (or whatever their name is now) could be.
i'm also thinking about like, 3-4 hours ago when i went on a walk.
my rambling from earlier seems like just the mad babble of a crazy psychopath,
who the fuck is sane during any of this?!
i'm just gonna get my shit together and try to stay mentally alright during any of this. it feels weird not having a weird demon-trauma cat thing around, but whatever, i guess.
i'm also gonna start doing more research onto magic, demons, shit like that. clearly useful.
and, hey, i'm planning on walking a lot more in the next few days. don't wanna stay on the same place till i die, which is hopefully not soon.
things are still really awful, everything just feels like a weird deepfake of a deepfake of a deepfake of a blah blah blah blah, but at least i'm like, not dead.
i think that's good.
Trying to fucking... Find something I could use to sharpen the scythe.
It's been getting a bit dull lately, and uh, yeah. I mean, it's fair given the amount of shit I had to go through.
Uhm, I've also been just kinda thinking, I guess? Like, mostly about Myla.
If like, it's not them anymore, and uh, they probably won't come back, should I even really be worried?
...I don't know. I'm just gonna assume they're dead, even if they PHYSICALLY aren't.
Shit, uh, gotta run back home-